growing up...

I remember when i was 18 and about to graduate high school how powerful i felt. When they handed me that diploma in my mind they had handed me the key to the world. Everything was obtainable and it was all going to be mine. I was going to zip right through college, land my dream job, marry my dream man, have a dream house,and well you get the picture. Then in my first quarter of school i realized that the world wasn't all that i had thought. It's tough! You work hard for a little paycheck, books cost a million dollars (and you rarely use them), cars like gas, and sleep is a thing for children. Needless to say my first year of college was pretty rough on my bright and shiny outlook of life. I had to do a lot of rethinking...


Now that i am a few years older i look back on that little girl and chuckle at all that she thought the world to be. Not because i was wrong four years ago but because through all the failures, bumps and scars i finally realize that those things, although nice, are only the surface of growing up and living.


Within the last year of my life  i have dealt with things i never imagined i would. I have felt the pain of great lose and of letting go. I have experienced disappointment and a string of bad news. But i have also felt the love of my family and friends who are like family. I have witnessed pure honesty rescue friendships and gain new ones. I have driven a stick shift around the block without stalling and did a high ropes course. I have learned the value of honesty not only with others but with myself. Within this year i have enjoyed growing up. 


I was talking to my friend Megan the other day about how our priorities have shifted since we were kids. How it use to be we would enjoy things that benefited us, rather it be presents or emotional self esteem. But now just being with friends talking or fellowship with church family is what we really value. It hit me that yes growing up is full of disappointments and mistakes, expensive bills and scary mortgages but it is also full of great gifts that could only come from a loving God. I know that in my life although i have dealt with great lose of great people God has lavished my life with love. Even as i type these words i cant hold back tears when i think of all the people He has placed in my life who just their friendship brings joy into my life. Awesome, godly people who i can be honest about my struggles and selfishness and they correct me and point me in the way of the Truth. Great friends who make me laugh when i have worn a sour face all day and even when i try not to laugh i cant resist. How much God must love me to surround me with such people. How much He must love me to change my priorities from material things to irreplaceable relationships. How great is God to love me enough to make life hard so that and the end of a long day i cherish the little things that are easy. 


Yes, growing up is hard. You go through phases, you get confused , you feel small and scared. But oh how sweet are the rewards when we allow God to mold us. Growing up is fun when you are growing up with Christ.