I have had several conversations with people who are somehow in my life whether i know them from past jobs or classes. These people were sharing their stories...their pain and i find myself for the first time seeing them in their pain. It's not just a story i heard on Oprah or some talk show its their real living nightmare. Then i wonder how many times i pass by people who are hurting and not even notice or care? This thought breaks me heart. When i am in pain, when painful things come my way i have a hope of a peace that passes all understanding. Yet i think i let that peace become contentment and i just hoard all my peace to myself and those near and dear. I am reminded of what Jesus says in John 13;35
"this is how they will know you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another."
I think sometimes i am so blessed that i forget to open my eyes and take a good look around me. I just live in my super clean, super cozy christian bubble and the pain and cries of those surrounding me are just muffed sounds.I pray that God opens my eyes....gives me His eyes for the people who need His love, His peace and need me to show them His love and His peace.
" Give me your eyes for just one second,
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see..." -give me your eyes
by: brandon heath
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
music+organization=motivation
There are two things in this world that I love that are not people or food...music and organization. These two things make me feel like all is right when all is not right. I am quite sure they are special little gifts from God just for me;)
When i first moved to Canal I listened to music and organized my room most of the summer. I even rearranged my room like six or so times. Which now that i say that makes me seem really crazy but it was a boring summer.
there was a lady in my home church back in Ironton who was so so so organized and i remember thinking as a small child that her life must be so much simpler because she had it all together in neat little piles with color coded post-its. She was never late or forgot any of her responsibilities. As i can clearly see now organization doesn't make life simple but it makes it functional. My psych professor told me my need to organize everything was my way of controlling situations because there were areas in my life i cannot control. Which i quickly pointed out that there are areas in everyone's life we cannot control. i will agree with his assessment though. Its accurately stated. I don't think its the need to be control but its more like having a plan of action in case i need to spring into control. What does it really matter? it's a healthy obsession.
Anyway... ... ... so after i organize i must bounce right into some sort of action and popping in my headphones and blasting music helps me do that. when i am armed with the ipod the world better watch out because there is nothing i cant do. (almost) which brings me to this.... I cant be blogging cause i have stuff to do ;)
When i first moved to Canal I listened to music and organized my room most of the summer. I even rearranged my room like six or so times. Which now that i say that makes me seem really crazy but it was a boring summer.
there was a lady in my home church back in Ironton who was so so so organized and i remember thinking as a small child that her life must be so much simpler because she had it all together in neat little piles with color coded post-its. She was never late or forgot any of her responsibilities. As i can clearly see now organization doesn't make life simple but it makes it functional. My psych professor told me my need to organize everything was my way of controlling situations because there were areas in my life i cannot control. Which i quickly pointed out that there are areas in everyone's life we cannot control. i will agree with his assessment though. Its accurately stated. I don't think its the need to be control but its more like having a plan of action in case i need to spring into control. What does it really matter? it's a healthy obsession.
Anyway... ... ... so after i organize i must bounce right into some sort of action and popping in my headphones and blasting music helps me do that. when i am armed with the ipod the world better watch out because there is nothing i cant do. (almost) which brings me to this.... I cant be blogging cause i have stuff to do ;)
Monday, September 27, 2010
this is a post...a what?
So i finally took time to read other peoples blogs and realized that I really could be writing about anything. I am a little less unhappy about writing now:)
I woke up this morning with a refreshed heart. Despite all the painful things that have spotted my life I have been blessed beyond them. God reminded me this morning of who i am in Him...how quickly i forget. When i woke up the song "Hope Now" was jamming out of my speakers. I already loved the song but it has a whole new meaning to my life right now. Just so refreshing...like water in the desert.
One of the biggest blessings in my life came this summer. My boyfriend Bobby has been an unexpected but life changing blessing. We just fit. He is such an awesome man of God who always points me in the direction of the Truth and makes me laugh and smile daily. We shared an awesome day together yesterday & it was fully of laughter. (which is my favorite things to do) i love spending time with him & getting to know him even more. The more i know the more i love.<3
I woke up this morning with a refreshed heart. Despite all the painful things that have spotted my life I have been blessed beyond them. God reminded me this morning of who i am in Him...how quickly i forget. When i woke up the song "Hope Now" was jamming out of my speakers. I already loved the song but it has a whole new meaning to my life right now. Just so refreshing...like water in the desert.
One of the biggest blessings in my life came this summer. My boyfriend Bobby has been an unexpected but life changing blessing. We just fit. He is such an awesome man of God who always points me in the direction of the Truth and makes me laugh and smile daily. We shared an awesome day together yesterday & it was fully of laughter. (which is my favorite things to do) i love spending time with him & getting to know him even more. The more i know the more i love.<3
Friday, September 24, 2010
The more and more i read about effective listening the more i find myself examining people as i talk. I know that sometimes i just ramble on and on (that's part of my charm) but when i am really sharing and opening up i look for signs of life in the other person. I try to be a great listener. I try to fully focus on that person and their verbals and non verbals. I think its a really good and important skill to have as a person. You will raise the value of relationships because people genuinely want to know they are heard. The only thing i do not like about knowing the signs of effective listening is when i am speaking and realize i am not being listened to. With acquaintances its different because you don't really open up to them, but i am talking about close friends who share life with you. One of the biggest components of listening is to listen and not focus on what how you are going to respond because its called listening not lecturing. You are also suppose to remove all preconceive ideas and judgment. We all things we just need to say to someone else and if they are awful we usually know our thoughts or feeling are out of line but we still need to be heard.
I know there is a time to rebuke and correct but i think that also comes from a nonjudgmental place and with genuine love. I've been rebuked with love and i have been rebuked with judgment. When it was with love i was humbled and saw where i had gone wrong. when I was judged I was angry and my heart was in turn angry which didn't fix anything.
Okay enough about the negative side of it all. The awesome part of knowing all this crap about listening is when you find yourself in a conversation and you are being heard. Where you are connecting with the other person and they with you. Its almost like music coming together. In my personal experience when a person listens to me...they hear me, know me, and therefore know how to care and love me. They also know how to respond to me physically which is all still part of listening and communicating. The more i learn about communication and then experience it they more i love it. Its something we all do if we speak or not.
okay i am done....i hate blogging
I know there is a time to rebuke and correct but i think that also comes from a nonjudgmental place and with genuine love. I've been rebuked with love and i have been rebuked with judgment. When it was with love i was humbled and saw where i had gone wrong. when I was judged I was angry and my heart was in turn angry which didn't fix anything.
Okay enough about the negative side of it all. The awesome part of knowing all this crap about listening is when you find yourself in a conversation and you are being heard. Where you are connecting with the other person and they with you. Its almost like music coming together. In my personal experience when a person listens to me...they hear me, know me, and therefore know how to care and love me. They also know how to respond to me physically which is all still part of listening and communicating. The more i learn about communication and then experience it they more i love it. Its something we all do if we speak or not.
okay i am done....i hate blogging
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
....a safer place to hide
It amazes me how unaware of our needs we can be as humans. We walk around with our pain bolted to our hearts looking for a cure but never letting anyone see our pain. Could you imagine actually letting someone see your pain? How raw and naked you'd feel? Why do we hide it? Why not let someone see us raw? Maybe that is the cure to the pain.
I read an article about interpersonal relationships recently. It says that to possess a strong interpersonal connection each persons needs must been known and met. I guess as a communication major I focus so much on expressing those wants and needs that I have forgot about recognizing what the needs are. It is always easier (i think) to recognize needs in other people. Just listen to what they say, how many times they say it, what their body says when they say it, and how they respond to certain things. For example: if someone responds positively to something it is usually a need of theirs. Like hearing they did a good job on a project or that their hair looks great when they are wearing it a new way. If someone is constantly doubting or down on themselves they need to hear the opposite. They need and want to hear that they are smart, funny, attractive or doing a good job. It is almost too easy to see the needs in others if you just take the time to notice.
As easy as it is to see the needs of others it is just as simple to find you own needs in interaction with other people. How do you respond when hearing a kind word? Does it completely change you mood or does it just give you an extra boost? What do you feel guiltless about? What do you do without fear? Those are your needs.
Now that I've said all that...is it really a need of ours to hold in our hurt? I highly think not. I think to be a healthy being in a healthy, honest, healing relationship with anyone we need to be raw with our pain. Painfully honest about the pain that is honestly felt.
The theme of my summer has been open and honest. It has honestly changed my life. It all started with this simple verse
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so
that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer
of a person living right with God is something powerful
to be reckoned with." -James 5:16
I think we hide in our pain and our sufferings and we all are hiding feeling alone in it all. This is just insanity. The truth is we all hurt sometimes. We all fall short sometimes. We all have bad days and insecurities. Why are we hiding? Why are we not uplifting each other? Why are we not sharing each others pain? I think that is how pain is meant to be dealt with. How can we help each other cope if we have no idea the pain they need to cope with? Everyone needs to know they are not alone in their pain and that there is a safe place to hide.
I read an article about interpersonal relationships recently. It says that to possess a strong interpersonal connection each persons needs must been known and met. I guess as a communication major I focus so much on expressing those wants and needs that I have forgot about recognizing what the needs are. It is always easier (i think) to recognize needs in other people. Just listen to what they say, how many times they say it, what their body says when they say it, and how they respond to certain things. For example: if someone responds positively to something it is usually a need of theirs. Like hearing they did a good job on a project or that their hair looks great when they are wearing it a new way. If someone is constantly doubting or down on themselves they need to hear the opposite. They need and want to hear that they are smart, funny, attractive or doing a good job. It is almost too easy to see the needs in others if you just take the time to notice.
As easy as it is to see the needs of others it is just as simple to find you own needs in interaction with other people. How do you respond when hearing a kind word? Does it completely change you mood or does it just give you an extra boost? What do you feel guiltless about? What do you do without fear? Those are your needs.
Now that I've said all that...is it really a need of ours to hold in our hurt? I highly think not. I think to be a healthy being in a healthy, honest, healing relationship with anyone we need to be raw with our pain. Painfully honest about the pain that is honestly felt.
The theme of my summer has been open and honest. It has honestly changed my life. It all started with this simple verse
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so
that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer
of a person living right with God is something powerful
to be reckoned with." -James 5:16
I think we hide in our pain and our sufferings and we all are hiding feeling alone in it all. This is just insanity. The truth is we all hurt sometimes. We all fall short sometimes. We all have bad days and insecurities. Why are we hiding? Why are we not uplifting each other? Why are we not sharing each others pain? I think that is how pain is meant to be dealt with. How can we help each other cope if we have no idea the pain they need to cope with? Everyone needs to know they are not alone in their pain and that there is a safe place to hide.
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