The more and more i read about effective listening the more i find myself examining people as i talk. I know that sometimes i just ramble on and on (that's part of my charm) but when i am really sharing and opening up i look for signs of life in the other person. I try to be a great listener. I try to fully focus on that person and their verbals and non verbals.  I think its a really good and important skill to have as a person. You will raise the value of relationships because people genuinely want to know they are heard. The only thing i do not like about knowing the signs of effective listening is when i am speaking and realize i am not being listened to. With acquaintances its different because you don't really open up to them, but i am talking about close friends who share life with you. One of the biggest components of listening is to listen and not focus on what how you are going to respond because its called listening not lecturing. You are also suppose to remove all preconceive ideas and judgment. We all things we just need to say to someone else and if they are awful we usually know our thoughts or feeling are out of line but we still need to be heard. 
I know there is a time to rebuke and correct but i think that also comes from a nonjudgmental place and with genuine love. I've been rebuked with love and i have been rebuked with judgment. When it was with love i was humbled and saw where i had gone wrong. when I was judged I was angry and my heart was in turn angry which didn't fix anything.


Okay enough about the negative side of it all. The awesome part of knowing all this crap about listening is when you find yourself in a conversation and you are being heard. Where you are connecting with the other person and they with you. Its almost like music coming together. In my personal experience when a person listens to me...they hear me, know me, and therefore know how to care and love me. They also know how to respond to me physically which is all still part of listening and communicating. The more i learn about communication and then experience it they more i love it. Its something we all do if we speak or not. 


okay i am done....i hate blogging